Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize