A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
