You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
