Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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