Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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