omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize