youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
