How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
