I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.