Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that