I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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