Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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