frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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