Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She told me I should be a condom model.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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