she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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