Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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