Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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