So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize