found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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