Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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