I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
