1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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