Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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