There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's never too late to be topless.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
