No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
its liver damage thursday
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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