I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
