Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
