i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
