i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
