I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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