Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
