end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize