Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
God, I missed his penis.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
