She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
