I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
