So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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