I skipped work to stalk him.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I did not marry a roomba.
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