i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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