Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
