why didn't you poke me back
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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