...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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