i was born a porn star she said
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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