You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize