Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
