That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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