I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
