see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
