yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
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My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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