Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
try to milk me bitch
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