Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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