I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
