Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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