When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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