Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
