What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
