I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
