That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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