i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
