Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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