Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
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Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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