he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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