My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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