But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
